12 Days of Anime #3: Hesitation has been quite a drug, but I’m ready to quit.
If this blog has taught me anything it is that my disposition towards second-guessing myself is not doing me any favors. Unfortunately, this might just come with the Introverted personality that I was born with, but still, it is not something that I want to continue to live with for the rest of my life.
I think I awoke to this problem when I started this blog back in the middle of this year. Even as I talked to and interacted with more and cooler people, I was still hesitant to reach out and initiate the conversation.
So, right here on this blog, I am declaring my New Year’s Resolution, one that I plan to follow through on: stop hesitating.
Hesitation has been like a drug. The anxiety of having to talk to people is scary, so what to take to calm my nerves? a hit of hesitation. It feels so good in the moment, the rush of dopamine from the sudden decision to just give up, to not follow through on anything. But eventually the high goes away, and the crash comes even harder. I hit the ground realizing another opportunity left without noticing I was there. I mean, why would it? It is not like I got its attention anyway.
Admittedly, it will be difficult. There will be a lot of times that it will be tempting to give up and crawl back into the shell that I’ve had on my back my whole life, but it is nothing I can’t accomplish with a little self-motivation.
And to those who are reading this, do not give up. Whether it be a relationship or a problem at work, whatever. The most important thing is to not take a pill from that bottle of hesitation.
Sorry about this. Its something I needed to get off my chest and I felt like Christmas was the best time to do it. If you did enjoy it, well then I’m glad. Thanks for reading and bye for now, Friendos!