Figurine | Animated Observations

Welcome, weebs, to Animated Observations

(The following is satire).

In a strange incident that occurred just last night, a man was caught angrily walking right outside an apartment complex after attempting a robbery. The incident occurred around 9 P.M., with the man in question, a Mr. Steve Stevenson, using a lock pick to break into another unsuspected man’s apartment. Stevenson later admitted to the police that after walking into the victim’s house, he immediately took off in anger. “I’m so tired of robbing people’s houses only to find anime girl figurines and Naruto DVD’s. It’s like, why would you spend your money on that?” Stevenson was then placed in jail after finding he had avoided previous sentences for similar behavior.

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Welcome, weebs, to Animated Observations

(The following is satire)

In the wake of historic protests following the death of George Floyd, along with many others since then, many have felt uneasy about joining said protests. One man from East Knoxville said “Of course Black Lives Matter, and I want to help, but I don’t know if protests are the best way to go about it.” However, the man’s mind was quickly changed after an encounter with police earlier this month. “I was driving home after getting some figurines from one of my favorite stores, I get pulled over and before I know it, there was a cop taking my stuff.”

The man in question, Steven Smith, is referring to the process of Civil Asset Forfeiture, a totally real process in which the police can accuse your possessions of being involved in a crime instead of you, and thus can take them in as evidence. “After that experience, I realized just how corrupt the policing system is, and I knew from that point that protesting was worth it.”